This post is a rare collaborative effort between Money Bags and The Wife that didn’t end in tears. Money Bags’ tears.
You may have noticed a tendency for those of the Asian persuasion to choose from a selection of iconic poses when having their photo taken. Westerners are at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to this field of expertise. These experts are going for both quality and mass quantity, perfecting the trifecta: distinct facial expressions, catchy hand gestures, and background scenery complete with name-brand accessories.
It’s for the good of humanity, then , that we present to you this guide to Asian poses. This list is just a starting point. Always remember to build your own style by incorporating ambiguous head tilting, awkward 30-second long winks, and lip positions that are not likely to be comfortable for either yourself, nor anyone you may or may not be kissing.
For Beginners
The “Peace Sign”
Truly, a classic Asian pose. Famous the world over, the “Peace Sign” may have been popularized by the 1960s’ American hippie, but it was canonized by the 1980s’ Japanese tourist.
The “Point”
Drop back that middle finger and extend that elbow for a little more verve.
The “Surprise”
What? a camera? I only had two hours to spend on my makeup! What am I going to do?!
The “Pillow”
Nothing says “calm and comforting” like pretending to fall asleep while standing up.
The “Hey!”
From the surprise pose, drop one hand and shift out the other. This pose works especially well with a nice, cryptic smirk. “Heeeey, girrrrrrl!”
The “Heart”
When you need to be a little more obvious about your “cute mystique,” don’t be afraid to throw a few hearts around. After thorough research (aka none), we aren’t sure when the “Heart” evolved to the “Horned-Heart.” Possibly a British snooty influence? New Asian gang sign? Freaky Asian double-jointedness turned pop culture must-have?
The “Prayer”
Don’t forget to show the boys that you’ll be safe to take home to the parents. This pose strikes an important balance between playful and serious; think ahead about which side of the line you want.
The “Kiss”
You heard it here first: everyone kisses with one eye closed.
The “Salute”
After a long day of modeling, you need a go-to pose that’s easy to get to from the “Peace Sign.” The camera shutter stops for no one, after all.
Advanced Techniques
The “Phone Call”
Most connoisseurs of Asian poses probably have plenty of experience holding a phone, but the younger ones may not have seen one shaped like this in a while. Why does it reach all the way down in front of my mouth? Shouldn’t it be shaped like a rectangle? Luckily, Carly Rae Jepsen was just as beloved in Hong Kong as anywhere else (at least for a few months in 2012).
The “Big Heart”
While the concept is the same as its smaller cousin, this pose can prove difficult, since you are forced to create a smooth, rounded curve with only your elbows and wrists. Will you look cute or will you look like the Indian chief in the Village People?
The “Whisper”
This pose may seem as simple as the “point,” but all cuteness goes away if you accidentally pick your nose.
The “Purr”
Everyone loves a kitten. Snuggle up to the camera with your own little cat paws.
The “Daydream”
Now pull those wrists in and under your chin to get lost in deep contemplation. Remember that pursing your lips is the best way to show that you’re thinking very carefully.
The “Plea”
Three fist-based poses in a row! I told you this section was advanced. By rotating your knuckles forward, you draw the camera into your fluttering “Bambi” eyes. Now you can get anything you ask for.
The “Glasses”
Some assembly required.
The “Pigtails”
This pose can take months or even years to develop (if you have short hair).
The “A-OK”
Three fingers up and two together – so much to think about. Plus, where do you put your hand? Do you circle your eye? Your duck lips? The possibilities are endless.
The “Frame”
As you can see, finding true horizontal can be a daunting task. We recommend bringing a properly-calibrated level to any photo shoot (just in case).
Use At Your Own Risk
The “Punch”
Introducing aggression into your Asian poses can be a dangerous game. Obviously this was The Wife’s idea – her enthusiasm for it was, to say the least, frightening. Is violence cute? (Don’t answer that, The Wife.) Will the boys be threatened if if you turn out to be more than a porcelain doll? Should you throw an uppercut or a left hook?
The “Pistol”
It’s easier to come off as cute if your pose makes it clear that you have absolutely no idea how to operate your weapon of choice. Now you just need a source of inspiration: Charlie’s Angels? Pulp Fiction? The Three Caballeros?
The “Claw”
You’ve mastered the “purr,” but now that cat’s grown claws. Can you capture the same inner cuteness while showing your wild side?
The “Tear”
Crying to get your way? Sure, it will work the first time. Probably even the tenth. But remember, change up your tactics to keep the boys from catching on to the game.
The “Confusion”
What better way to remind your beau that “I make my way in this world based on my looks alone!” than to explicitly showcase your confusion? Scratch that head, stare into empty space, and never worry; someone will be around to fix all your problems and pay all your credit card bills.
The “Shout”
Are you shouting or are you listening? Or are you just having a hard time winking?
The “Devil”
Showing your “evil” side can be even more risky than showing your “violent” one. What if the boys realize that you’re only talking to them in order to get new clothes and designed handbags? We can’t have that.
The “Beggar”
Too obvious! Too obvious!
Our Own Innovations
The “Stink”
There is plenty of opportunity to use this pose in Hong Kong whether the cameras are flashing or not. Jaywalking past a bus? Squeezing into the MTR Mid-August? Instagraming the stinky tofu street vendor? You’re all set.
The “Hat Tip”
A gentle homage to Hong Kong’s colonial past. Grab that imaginary bowler and feel the mercantilistic blood of Great Britain course through your veins.
The “Hungry/Hangry”
If you find yourself taking so many pictures of your food that you no longer have time to eat it, your emotions may get the better of you.
The “Tea Cup”
Tut tut, cheerio! What’s all this, then, Guv’nor?
The “Vom”
After a few dozen Jello shots at Lan Kwai Fong, you’ll likely have a few of these poses in your camera, whether you remember them or not.
The “Double Punch”
Go ahead, take it all the way.
With a few turns through an Excel pivot table, there’s actually some interesting things to see. Just like last year, the meet is dominated by swimmers from the host country. This is impressive, though, when you consider that Canada has only a little more than half the population of Italy and they still are able to outnumber the American athletes. All told, almost half of all the swimmers are coming from north of the Rio Grande and the rest of the Western Hemisphere pushes the ratio almost up to 2/3. With 490 swimmers, France has the third most swimmers, while Brazil & Japan lead their own continents with 195 & 172 athletes, receptively.
Each swimmer is allowed to compete in no more than five individual events (4 relays are also allowed, if your team has enough swimmers in attendance). I contented myself with 4 of the shortest (50 & 100 meters of both freestyle and butterfly), but a plurality of the athletes maxed out their schedule. You might think that travelling a long way to swim might be a factor in such a decision, but it’s not so simple. Canada averaged 3.5 events per swimmer. Mexico and Costa Rica had even higher averages at 3.13 & 4.28. The 66 swimmers coming all the way from India, though, will swim only 1.86 events each. Mongolia and China are even more focused with 1.79 and 1.27 events on average.
Real Housewife of Hong Kong 